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Do you crave to be accepted?

For years I craved to be accepted. My decisions in fact, were shaped based on the sole idea of being accepted. What clothes I wore, the men I dated, how thin I wanted to be and the abrasive acne medications I purchased praying for a clear complexion. I craved to date someone who wouldn’t think I was a freak for the foul-smelling creature that lived in my intestines and redefined the term careless whisper that fluttered the sheets.

Hopefully he’s sleeping and didn’t smell that.

And when speaking to my patients, I’m not alone. We crave for acceptance that drives the decisions we make and shapes our values based on the voids we’re trying to fill. So if you look at New Years, which is just around the corner, how much of that list is really for you rather than for the sake of acceptance and filling a deep dark void?

I remember clearly my decisions around love. Surely I wanted to be accepted and tried to look appealing on every capacity yet became emotionally attached to every man who shared my bed, however fleeting. I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t stop myself.  When things went wrong and the few times I spotted the guy in public, I’d throw myself behind a door, a sign, maybe run across the street only to quell the aftershocks of perspiration and nausea. It was the inconvenient truth that I had seen someone who I loved…and didn’t love me back. I would think I wasn’t desirable enough and began to create a list of all the things I’d do: workout, detox, learn a new language, learn to play the guitar, maybe even travel to Africa…ya, Africa would be cool. And this is where New Years takes on a similar form. It becomes the idea of starting over and maybe another subconscious shot for acceptance.

These emotional decisions can’t be ignored because they shape us in every way. How we think which create our emotions, causes us to react (emotionally eating maybe?) and creates an end result (yep, those jeans no longer fit). This is a huge reason why I brought on Stephan Gardner, Emotional Specialist into The Enlighten Movement because many of us carry emotional weight and crave to be accepted. How do we shift our perceptions and actually get over the plateau that we’ve hit? Are we really holding ourselves back and not realizing it?

The Enlighten Movement will help you transform your body with my expertise in Nutrition & Chinese Medicine (think meal plans, recipes, 1 hour Skype consult…oh the goodness!). I’ve also brought on Sammie Kennedy from Booty Camp Fitness to teach you some key tips on working out to lose inches and define yourself. And lastly, Stephan Gardner to help you uncover the blocks that are holding you back. You’ll receive the motivation and attention you deserve.

But to give things a little boost, I’ve added a way to help transform the world. But don’t worry you won’t have to lift a finger…it’ll be done for you. You can simply rest assure that every time you transform yourself, you’ll be helping to transform the world. How’s THAT for motivation?

Pretty sweet, eh? If you haven’t checked out the trailer here, please do and RSVP to receive my Ultimate Grocery and Kitchen Guide for FREE when you do. We open for purchase on December 11 and this is going to be a movement that will change everything.

It’s time to transform your body for the right reasons and uncover the blocks that have been holding you back for long enough…

Get on the VIP list!

Get your free copy of my Sexy Smoothies ebook when you sign up to my tribe!

2 thoughts on “Do you crave to be accepted?

  1. Erica

    I wonder about – once we have finally accepted ourselves, our past, and past emotional decisions – what do we do when the person we’re with, doesn’t? Accept our past, I mean?

  2. Stephan Gardner

    Erica,

    Every person lives according to a unique set of values. This person who isn’t accepting your past (in your perception) does so because it’s not in their values to do it. In order to get them to do it, you will have to sell it inside of what’s most important to them.

    Now, your frustration around this person not accepting your past is based upon your expectation for them to do just that. Anytime you expect someone else to live outside their values (and maybe inside of yours) without providing a significant value inside their values to do it, you will create the ABCD’s of negativity: anger, aggression, blame, betrayal, challenge, criticism, despair and despondency, in them, in you, and between the two of you.

    Ask better questions:

    If this person did appreciate my past how I want them to, what would be the drawbacks to me? To them? To the world?

    How does it benefit me that they don’t appreciate my past?

    Answer these questions at least 30 times and watch what happens. It’s called appreciation. Just because you appreciate your past doesn’t mean you are appreciating what’s in your life right now. Find out how this person serves you by doing exactly what you don’t want them to do and you will take your mastery of appreciation to a new level.

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