Guest Blogger: Kristen Ma from Pure + Simple
(Kristen seen here on the right applying make-up)
When Melissa asked me write a guest post for The Sexy Food Therapy blog, I was delighted because its themes of love, sex and food really resonate with me. As a holistic beauty entrepreneur and author on the subject, I know that these three things are so important for nourishing our skin and bodies. The concept of Pure + Simple, was born out of the belief that real beauty comes from a combination of healthy, non-toxic skincare as well as balance, rejuvenation, and happiness.
And while my business focus on the former, I know that love, sex and food have guided my own personal transformation spurring self-awareness. I say this as a girl who just got engaged a few weeks ago – and, when my partner Ben proposed during our trip to New York, I realized how much our relationship had changed the way we both perceived ourselves and the world around us.
Just between you me, I never thought we would share the same time zone let alone a life together. We’ve actually broken up…twice. But on Christmas day, I found myself standing in central park hovering over him, down on one knee – still with hot apple cider in hand. It was very romantic. What wasn’t so romantic was that minutes later, I broke out singing “I guess you liked it so then you put a ring on it!” Though to be fair, if it hadn’t been for my discovery of Ayurveda, I probably would never have flaunted my inner Beyonce that day (waving finger with hip shake and all).
Ben and I met while both living abroad in Australia, and after he returned home to England, and I to Canada we continued to date long-distance. But having a date to events, booking phone conversation, and never having sex really (in a word) blows. So in due time the question of who was going to relocate where came up. And, negotiations began. Negotiations soon became accusations, and accusations became ultimatums – which in the end led to our break up.
After that, of course, I did what any sensible girl would do: I got a pedicure, I flirted with cute bartenders, and I bought over-priced, impractical clothing, which I justified as “statement pieces”. But still, we continued to call and text, and eventually relapsed back into our relationship. The problem was that we had swept our issues under the proverbial carpet, and dust bunnies of resentment scurried from underneath the shag during every phone conversation we had. So we broke up again.
This time I made myself unavailable by enrolling in a Panchakarma (Ayurvedic detox) course at the Ayurvedic Institute in New Mexico. I wanted to take it to help my clients at Pure + Simple treat their skin holistically, but also thought it would mark my focus on myself, my career, and cleanse Ben right out of my system. What I didn’t expect was that a good portion of my learning would be about the emotional influence on health.
Actually Dr. Vasant Lad, the primary lecturer, spent a whole morning on love, its role in healing, and its necessity for balance. That day he explained that love was unconditional, universal, and nonjudgmental. According to Ayurveda, it was not transactional; loving others was not because they loved us or because we loved how they made us feel – but because organically within us, and that they were there to be appreciated and cherished, for no rationalized reason at all. It was then that I realized I had been nursing my hurt, feeling as if Ben had chosen familiarity over his love for me, when I had been acting so unloving. I needed to let go of my ego and just move forward with love.
So, at lunch break I called Ben up and told him this. I didn’t suggesting we get back together, actually the opposite. I explained that I understood we couldn’t be together – but that it wasn’t important. What was, was that we loved each other and because of this, we would each always have someone somewhere rooting for us.
A week after I returned home to Toronto, he called me up and told me he was leaving his job. Something in the energy of our relationship had changed, and while I got what I wanted, it was only when I released my attachment to it. To this day, it has made the way we are together so much more peaceful, effortless and joyful.
Owner of holistic spa, Pure + Simple
BODHI BLACK BEAN BROWNIES
Packed with protein and the aphrodisiac of chocolate. A dairy-free, gluten-free creamy comfort snack. I will be making these for our engagement party – but also like to have them when I want to indulge guilt-free.
2 oz dark chocolate (70% or higher cocoa – and sugar-free)
1 egg white
2 tbsp canola oil + whatever you need to lightly grease the pan.
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce (You can easily make this from scratch if desired)
1/2 cup Agave nectar (Maple syrup is another option)
1/4-1/2 cup Chopped Walnuts (optional)
1 1/2 cups of soft cooked black beans rinsed and drained
1. Melt the dark chocolate on a low heat. I added a few tablespoons of water to help the pot from staining.
2. Add this to a food processor with all the other ingredients and blend. Pour this into a lightly greased baking pan.
3. Cook at 350 Fahrenheit for 20-30 minutes. Its ready when the edges begin to pull away from the sides. I also pressed the top with the spoon and made sure it didn’t leave an imprint.
4. (optional) – melt some more dark chocolate and add a dollop of agave – and use as icing.
5. Store them in the fridge (making them fudge texture).
Kristen Ma is a proud author of the book, Beauty: Pure + Simple A Holistic Guide to Natural Beauty. To obtain your copy, please visit the Amazon link on the right.