HUG WANTED: Single, smart, attractive thirty *cough* something year old girl with a slightly quirky personality needs hug. Tired and beginning to look a little weathered from all the long hours, lately, she isn’t thinking straight. Her blender regurgitated her green slurpie and she drove over a pot hole the other day which caused her to almost stab herself in the eye with her mascara wand. Please, don’t let a cop be reading this. This sometimes klutzy girl was on her way to the city with a makeup job that looked like a two-year old had applied it. She’s tired and simply needs a hug…and food of course.
If I had to describe my state of emotion the other day, this ad would be it. I was Miss Sucky in full effect. Not to mention, when I looked around me, I was surrounded by attractive men with their female accessories. Chewing on each other’s faces, they would cuddle, grope and have zero shame. Get a room damn it, I thought and realized that I was 100% jealous.
So while I usually celebrate singledom, today I felt a little lonely. I simply would have to look on the bright side: I have allergies to cats, so at least that negates all possibility of being a cat lady. I have a sense of style and would never end up wearing an old Cotton Ginny sweater making houses out of popscile sticks with craft glue in a rented basement. Nooooo, not this little princess
. So while the sometimes scary future awaits, my vision was set and I was on a mission.
[Melissa presses the pause button]
However, for now…I was feeling tender and my mission had to be paused. Desperately, I looked forward to meeting up with my best friend Dutchy (a.k.a. Gail)
for a long awaited girl’s night in. I was going to make some very special sexy food brownies for our night in of vino and catch up. There, in Dutchy’s apartment, all of life’s problems would melt away.
Okay, so I was being a little optimistic.
Arriving after a long day of work, I unpacked bags of ingredients to make Sexy Blood Building Brownies. Okay, so they sound a little creepy and maybe I need to rename them but here’s the shpiel…
That time of the month
is coming around the corner, I’m burning the candle at both ends and my iron generally is a little low. So, I felt that I needed to incorporate a little chocolate in my world to give me a little love and some beets
to build blood. Yes, I know, a root vegetable and chocolate…odd. However, I’ve seen multiple recipes for this and all of them rant about it’s goodness. So with Project Skinny Jean
in mind, I wanted to create a gluten-free version without the white sugar that would be stilll produce tasty, gooey and moist brownies.
SEXY BLOOD BUILDING BROWNIES
1 bar Green & Black Organic Chocolate Bar
1 1/3 cup shredded raw organic beets
1 cup gluten free flour mix
1 cup almond flour
1/3 cup honey / agave nectar
1/3 cup softened organic butter
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp salt
Preheat oven to 350.
Start by peeling the beets and set aside.
In a double broiler, melt the chocolate and set aside, then in a separate bowl, add in softened butter, honey and eggs and blend until fluffy with an electric mixer.
Pour in chocolate and mix well.
With a spoon fold in flours, beets, vanilla extract and salt. Combine without over stirring.
Pour into a greased small brownie baking sheet and place in the oven for 30 minutes or until knife comes out clean.
While strange, if the Beet Brownie Experiment worked, then I would reap the benefits of building blood and nourishing my heart and liver with beets. Plus I’d get my chocolate fix for the day. I didn’t need a man! I had food damn it! Oh God I’m beginning to sound like a derranged cat lady…er…food lady…who could very well one day die single in her kitchen.
Please hug me.
Beating, blending and folding, it was looking good. Dutchy and I licked spoons and gave each other the nod of approval. So slipping in the tray of blood building brownie goodness, Dutchy and I refilled our vinos and caught up. Man, I missed her.
While I sat there and listened to her budding romance, I couldn’t help but to feel a little envious. Certainly I was happy for her, but nonetheless, I remember what it felt like to be in love and have someone who felt the same. Texting each other every day and growing with anticipation, you make plans just so that you get the chance to see one another again. Connection is effortless, intensity is explosive and your heart aches when you’re a part. Gooseflesh appears on the nape of your neck and back of your arms when you get close and butterflies are out of control. Staring at each other, words aren’t almost pointless. You know what the other is thinking…you would do anything for the other because you are in love…well, Dutchy was.
Saved by the bell and from lover’s bliss, I needed chocolate…the next best thing to sex (so they say). After all of 20 short minutes, I carefully sliced into the pan and did what any good friend would do…I passed the Beet Brownie Experiment over to Dutchy.
You do the honours. Try it.
Looking at it cautiously, she took the first bite and there it was…the struggling smile.
Mmmm…gooooood. She said with her mouthful.
No, no, no, no, no…it can’t be. These are suppose to be my saviour, my Sexy Food Therapy recipe! It can’t be.
But it was…they were terrible. In fact, I believe they resembled a spongy beet bread rather than being even a remote relative of chocolate. Mission Beet Brownie…ABORTED…for now.
This isn’t over yet Beet Chocolate Brownie. I’ll get you…
So while usually you get a recipe every Monday, I couldn’t help but post one of mine that dreadfully failed. Yes, I am human, I make mistakes, and I make spongy beet bread and feed it to my friends.
Great. I’ve lost my ability to cook Dutchy. I need a hug.
Awwwe, [HUG] well, truthfully, you were always a better cook, then you were a baker. Just don’t feed your baked goods to Mr. Potentials.
Stuffing our faces with horror, we began to laugh…hard. Choking on beets and doughy gluten-free crumbles, I realized, okay Melissa, time to laugh at your dramatic self. Life goes on.
Quickly grabbing my bag, I remembered the matcha tea I had purchased and began to make Chocolate Match Love in a Cu
p for the two of us. Washing down tasteless sponges, Dutchy continued to eat grabbing seconds. She was a trooper and she was trying to make me feel better. She was a trooper and she was true friend.
So when it comes to hugs maybe there’s power in realizing they’re not only physical, but rather metaphorical. That when life throws you beets, you have to embrace that what you try might to make of it, doesn’t always turn out…maybe it wasn’t suppose to. Maybe if we can laugh and embrace it, rather than to fall victim to it, we can come to see that it’s all perfect in it’s own imperfection.
[Melissa unpauses and finally discovers the play button]