I now pronounce you laptop and wife.

While doing a cleanse, we begin to purge physically, emotionally and even spiritually.  Initially we may break out, feel fatigued and get some wicked headaches. Emotionally when we cleanse the liver, frustration and anger hatch from our once stagnated parts and  unleash its fury on friends, partners, family and old ladies counting their change too slow. Spiritually, I’ve found things to come up especially in my dreams.  I’ve been on Jeopardy playing solo with the topics being my recent partner’s names.  I’ll take The Intellect for $500. And I’ve also had dreams that have given me anxiety and brought out my deepest fears just to wake me up at 5am feeling nauseous and shaken.  And while I know that this time is to be focused on myself and to cleanse out the goat ball ex’s, I’ve also come to a startling revelation.  I think I just cleansed out all desires to BE in a relationship.  No joke.

The thought of morning spoons keeping me warm?
Bleh. I’d rather have a spoonful of oatmeal.
The thought of someone to support me when I’m feeling low?
Please…I have my sexy food and food baby, is love.
And the thought of sex?
[Melissa pukes a little in her mouth] I’ve managed to fuel all my sexual energy into my work and creativity.

Yes, it’s true, I have single handidly cleansed out even the DESIRE for men.  Uh oh…maybe I’ve gone too far.  The fearful thought of being the woman who died in her kitchen like that old lady who died in the shoe she lived in is slowly coming closer. I am married to my work, my food and my kitchen…and somehow that doesn’t phase me one bit.

So, in a effort to feel sappy again, I put myself on a mission: rent much anticipated rental, Up in the Air, keep some Kleenex beside me (just in case) and make myself a little something sweet to soothe my woes…

TROPICAL NUTTY BUNNY PUDDING
1 cup papaya
1 ripe banana
1 tbsp almond butter
1 scoop Sun Warrior vanilla protein powder
2 tbsp ground flax seed
1/2 tsp cinnamon
Pinch clove
Sea salt

Optional toppings: slivered almonds, bee pollen and cranberries
Combine everything together in a mini food processor and spoon into a small bowl and top accordingly.

Okay, I know, enough papaya already, but I had a huge mother of a papaya in the fridge and a black spotted banana begging to be used.  No, I didn’t have popcorn and even if it’s organic and air popped the stuff still doesn’t digest well and I really don’t feel like playing the trumpet all night. So with that said I made what I had with food I already had.  Might as well get creative.  The blend of protein and fibre I knew would satiate me physically, but the sweetness would be exactly what I needed without breaking the rules on my 28-Day Sexy Food Therapy cleanse.

The credits roll and the movie is done.  Did I cry?  Nope. Did I feel the desire for a co-pilot in my life…maybe a little.  I’m still happily married to my laptop and my work.  Dysfunctional? Maybe. And while some would argue, that it can’t replace a man, nor any of those electronic devices with vibrating bits, I can say it has been the catalyst behindgaining my independence with sexy food as its co-pilot.  Now that’s a happy marriage.

Day 11 here I come…