It's all about me

1 Posted by Melissa Ramos Categorized as Sides & Snacks

Laying bed with a new special someone in your life is quite possibly the most comfortable thing on earth.. if the spoon fits. The hours go by and soon enough, you realize that the to-do list thing you had, has come and gone and you haven’t even tackled one item off your list.  If you’re anything like me, you just might very well be really good at being single and bad at relationships. You’ll put yourself second and run with mason jars filled with soup to a special sicko in your life when you were supposed to be working on something, treating youself possibly and thinking about…you. Now I realize, this may just sound bitter, but I assure you, I’m not. It’s just that this time around I’m remembering my number one and the person who has to be happy first.  Because this time, it’s all about me.

Is that selfish?
For the first time in my life, I’m actually concentrating on building up who I am and getting independence and happiness pour moi first. I figure once that’s in order, everything will fall into place.  More often than not, I found myself neglecting my needs, having others take advantage of my generousity and allowing them to do so. I realize that men do this too, but women I think might be more prone to neglecting themselves.  A maternal thing maybe?  Well if it is, I’m a master at it (without the maternity clothes of course).

Recently, I attended a press conference and platform launch for Sarah Thomson, a mayorial candidate for Toronto. I realized that aside from the fact that she is the only woman running for mayor, I was impressed by her individual energy and strength.  Days later, when I stood in front of 100 women at Banana Republic for The Women’s Post, Courage to Lead event, I bonded with like-minded women, provided my expert sexy food advice and realized…I should be proud of myself. I’ve put in hours, days and weeks of work and it’s finally paying off.  And I did this…on my own.  Maybe it’s been the powerful women I’ve surrounded myself with or maybe it’s all the late nights of hard work, but I think I’m getting my mojo back. 

And to treat myself, I made my sweet side recipe, Beet It Love, that I’ve always found nourishing and just right for my sweet tooth.  Who knew that beets could almost taste like dessert?  Warming and gooey with maple syrup, this beet recipe is surely a favourite of mine…must be my Polish side coming through.

So while I explore and flirt with the idea of my old friend Mr. Greek coming into my life, I set boundaries and take it slow…and somehow he gets it. How refreshing.  After all, what’s the rush anyway? I’ve scheduled self-care days for me and me only watching French films, movie nights and something to nourish creativity. Maybe as women, we can analyze what makes us tick and whether we’re actually doing it.  Maybe we should look to move past the guilt and walk towards the idea of rewarding ourselves for living the fast-paced lives that we do.  It’s not about neglecting people in our lives because we’re selfish but rather to not neglect ourselves. It’s about being better at relationships, to be spoon without regrets and to be okay with saying no, I can’t because right now, it has to be about me…