Movin' On Up…
Voici mon amis, c’est moi, Melissa…the moving superstar. Alright, so that’s a little bit of a stretch. Okay fine, it’s complete sarcasm. I actually hate moving. I’m not good at it at all. In fact, I believe I have a moving disorder (kind of like how I have a laundry disorder). I’ve moved six times in four years and looking back on my childhood, life wasn’t any different (a total of five elementary schools in eight years). So I’m use to being in transit, but doing so has never been easy. Now at 31 years old, I was moving back home with my parents, Mama Bear and Mr. Soprano (who is no, not an opera singer, but resembles Tony Soprano). Worst of all, I will be living for the next six months in none other than the burbs…God, please give this city girl some patience. I had to remember this was all for the better…I’ve got to take one step back to be able to take two steps forward. I was movin’ on up, right?
[Theme song from the Jefferson's begins.]
Melissa shakes her booty and does her dance.
With yet another move on the forecast, I was feeling a little anxious despite the failed attempts at my booty dancing. I thought of turning to my friends first, however most of them were at a cottage for the last hoo-ha before the September kick off. Not to mention I have no mate…which therefore means no added support or sex. Oh poopie. Instead, I had a date with my life which somehow fit into a multitude of bags and boxes.
[Scene cuts to Melissa magically exploding out of a 12"x 12"x 12" cube box like a girl out of a birthday cake]
No, I would not resort to having my life be confined. So I left everything as is, and decided I needed a little somethin’ somethin’….sweet that is.
SEXY PEACH CASHEW CHEESECAKE
1 1/2 cups cashews (soaked for 3 hours)
2 cups walnuts (soaked for 3 hours)
1 bar of Green & Black 70% chocolate bar
1/2 cup medjool dates
1/4 cup organic lemon juice
1/4 cup agave nectar
2 organic peaches stewed and cubed
6 tbsp coconut oil
1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
Pinch sea salt
Blend soaked walnuts and dates in a food processor until crumbly. Stick mixture into a greased 8″ pie pan and set aside.
Melt dark chocolate in a bowl over simmering water. Stir constantly and pour into crust. Place into the fridge which will allow chocolate to harden and set.
Blend soaked cashews, agave nectar, lemon juice, peaches, coconut oil, vanilla extract and salt in a food processor until smooth. Make sure to scrape down sides along the way. Pour mixture into crust and place in the freezer for several hours. Top with more melted chocolate or peach coulis.
Yes, this may take a little prep time but it’s so worth it. You may be wondering why I’ve decided to go vegan on this dessert. Truth is, every time I eat a regular cheesecake, I feel heavy, bloated and lethargic. This dessert is a classic adaption from various raw food cheesecakes available, but here added a cooked chocolate inner crust and peaches which are now in season. Agave nectar used here as a sweetener is low on the glycemic index chart and is a far better option than the mountains of table sugar typically used. Not to mention, both cashews and peaches help to calm vata – one of the constitutions in Ayurveda (East Indian Medicine) which when out of balance can lead to a racing mind.
Yes, this little piece of indulgence was exactly what I needed. After all, the Illustrator who was a brief piece of comfort suddenly was no longer when he morphed into Mr. Neurotic. Sliding a magazine underneath my feet and not his when we kicked back our feet on his coffee table prompted me to raise an eyebrow. But when he questioned the cleanliness of my hands while we were in a moment because I rode the streetcar prior to seeing him, I really began to pull away with the thought, maybe it’s time to move on. Looking deeper into our brief time together, I realized I could no longer stand the tight fist who turned awkward every time the bill came. Yes, maybe I am a princess, but I have standards and I’m certainly not willing to force a square peg into a hole with anyone. I was movin’ on and move on up. So in the theme of movin’ on, here are some pointers that I feel I should share to help you move on from certain men. This may just save you a little time and energy…
Their V-neck shouldn’t plunge any deeper than yours.
With that said, if a man has bigger cleavage than yours…it’s time to move on.
Highlights or frosted tips.
This means hours in the salon and a head full of aluminum foil people. It’s bad enough that we look like we can transmit satellite signals with all that alum-ware, but no, this seems a little too high maintenance for the opposite sex…so move on.
He wants to go dutch on the first date.
I have had arguements with many people about this, but no, I don’t think we should pay. Call me old fashion, or call me a princess…I don’t care because yep…I’m movin’ on.
A photo of his car is his Facebook profile photo.
Need I say more? Movin’ on…
Maybe I have a low tolerance these days, or maybe I’m simply purging the things I’m not willing to accept or can’t be bothered with. To get myself to the place and the person I strive to be, it’s important that I spend my energy wisely.
So the other night I was invited out for a get together with none other than Paella who I should really be calling, Miss Fixer-Upper…my token friend who loves to set me up and thinks there’s no valuable reason why I should still be single. Claiming that she had found my match, I was willing to go for it.
That evening, I was introduced to a man surrounded by friends he hadn’t seen in six years. A man who had a dog in tow and baggage that he was trying to leave at the American border. His life included collecting and selling valuable pieces from big Hollywood names to rubbing elbows with celebrities and breaking bread with them. Yes, Mr. Hollywood was an interesting cat sharing a sexual tension with me that was certainly undeniable. So while we have spent numerous hours and several intense days together, he will also be outbound to Australia for several months beginning in November. As my jogging friend would say, this could very well be Mr. Short Shelf-Life. So why bother?
However, life works in strange ways…so all I can say is I’m open to possibility but partial to my own priorities. After all, I was leaving for Italy for vacation then returning to start a new. As scary as it can be sometimes to be alone, I was the only for sure thing in my plans…
…well that and sitting down to have my cake and eat it to.
[Exit Melissa shaking her booty to the Jefferson's theme song]
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