One big suck

Please see above a photo of me at my finest moment. Yes, I was a pouter and damn good at it. However, this doesn’t exactly work for me anymore. Especially when I don’t have the time to try and pull off one of these bad ass looks. Speaking of lacking time, take this morning for example. With chocolate and sexy nigiri rice balls packed in my purse, I quickly grabbed my winter green slurpie from the counter top this morning and rushed out with mascara only on one eye (I did the other eye while driving Jane Honda…she didn’t mind). I wore a hat to hide my disgusting greasy head, two completely different coloured socks and managed to trip over my flat iron cord which I left lying around since yesterday. Late again, I fumbled with my car keys in the cold air which froze the snot in my nose and made my one mascara eye water. Despite this morning’s blah, I actually have a lot to be excited about with the new site launching in only 8 days. I find myself hitting my goals slowly (**pew pew**) but can’t help to feel sad when I don’t have someone special to root me on and support me through this. So feeling a little sorry for myself, I did the one thing you should never do…contact the ex’s.

No, no…don’t get me wrong, I didn’t contact the ex’s for that, I did it for some emotional support from the opposite sex. Don’t ask me what I was thinking – clearly, with a lack of sleep, thinking is the last thing I’m doing these days. Instead I received cold shoulders, the brief, glad things are going well for you, gotta go Mel, or attention from certain ex’s I still didn’t feel anything for. And yes, I contacted more than one even though I realized that it would be the least nourishing part of my day. Am I a complete masochist? I’ll admit, I’m tired, lonely and feeling like one big suck.

So it’s 12:24am this evening and with a little pitter patter in my heart and a little teary-eyed, I’ve decided to call it an early night versus the usual 3:30, 4am. So 1am it is! Hey, it’s an improvement. So to cradle my little wounded ego, I’m sipping on some warm oat milk since dairy makes this kitten look and feel bloated and so not sexy.

SEXY CINNAMON & VANILLA OAT MILK
1 cup water
1 scoop St. Francis Mineral Matrix
1/4 cup oats
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1-2 packages stevia (or to taste)

Blend together, pour into a pot, bring to a boil and serve.

I love St. Francis’ Mineral Matrix, especially on cold nights. The minerals are extracted from goat whey and while you might be completely turned off, don’t be. This product is not goaty…it’s downright tasty. This whole food form of goat whey is incredibly alkaline and contains high amounts of potassium and magnesium which help to reduce stress and bring about a sense of calm. Minerals are our building blocks and without them, we feel fatigued amongst other health problems. Plus blended with oat milk (which costs pennies a glass), this bad boy goes straight into the heart meridian that honestly is a little tender for me these days.

Sipping on my little cup of milky love, I decided to do something that I knew would make me feel better. So reaching out to a person I’ve known the longest, I contacted Jenni. Writing her an e-mail of thanks and sending her love was the best way I could have ended today. Because sometimes, when it’s hard to find love in ourselves, its a heck of a lot easier to write to someone and tell them just how much you love them. At least it always makes me feel good and more nourished than any ex could ever bring. After all, they’re ex’s for a reason.

Eek…1:13am. I’m late for this evening’s dream episode filled with chocolate pools reflecting the stars from the sky that I can almost reach out and touch. Suddenly the world grows quiet as though to whisper in my ear like a lover and say, shhhhhh the day is done.

Goodnight and good morning.