Taking the leap from emotional gluttony
There I was, on a quick break from my serving job (generally servers will be lucky if they even get a break during their shift) and at the grocery store getting some food. I had an apple in my basket, a salad I had put together from the buffet bar, but the cookies were screaming at me. And not just the “hey come eat me” kind of scream, but:
“EAT YOUR PATHETIC LIFE AWAY NOW” kind of scream.
Yep, I had those thoughts…and often. I looked at my money belt and back up at the box and took a deep breath. I wondered at that moment, will I ever be able to change my life around? Will I ever live the life I want?
All of us have that inner voice and for a while there, I felt that my inner voice’s only motive what to kick my self-esteem to a pulp. It told me:
I wasn’t desirable enough and that I’d continue to be single until I was 90
(By that point I’d shack up with someone from the bridge club)
That I was a fraud because I still had a side job while the smoke in mirrors made me look otherwise.
That I’d never succeed, be serving rich old people who spoke to me at half pace and I’d have to turn down another dinner out with friends because I was broke.
“EAT ME”…says the box of cookies. “EAT YOUR PATHETIC LIFE AWAY NOW.”
What was I doing? Who am I kidding?
I’ve had a number of patients come to me feeling the same way. Wanting to break free from their crutches and stop the emotional gluttony. You see taking that leap is more than just taking the leap with my career, but it also had to do with the food I ate. Yes, the box of cookies screamed at me but I built a career on emotional eating and without doing it the right way and having my dietary shit together, I would have ended up in a loony bin by now. Taking the leap is like jumping into the deep end where you can’t touch the ground. It scares you because you have to tread to stay afloat. But your feet dance in the deep where suddenly fear transforms. And on June 18, 2012 Sari Gabbay and I will be providing an upcoming initiative that will change your life. Soon you’ll be able to live the life you were meant to live.
My eyeballs drowning in tears. I choke it back with defiance. (And also because I’m not wearing waterproof mascara)
I stared up as the cookies continued to yell at me.
So I decided to put my foot down and give my box of chocolate chip cookie ego the proverbial finger and soon after took the necessary steps to take the leap.
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