The ancient girl code.
There are several unwritten rules that as women, we all silently just know. No one actually taught us these rules, they were simply engrained in our girly DNA. Going against this ancient girly scripture would mean severing connection between women and sisters everywhere. Which begs the question, when sisterhood code is broken, can you actually forgive?
I think first, it’s important to describe the code for those of you out there who may need a loving reminder:
1. Thou shall not fuck a friend’s ex boyfriend.
2. Thou shall not fuck a sister’s ex boyfriend.
3. Thou shall not fuck an ex boyfriend’s friend.
4. Thou shall die with the secrets from a friend – even when she becomes a former friend.
5. Thou shall tell a friend if the outfit she just put on makes her butt look big, if her fly is down, if she has a bat in the cave or a fly in the grill. It is thy duty.
The rules are simple.
However, the other day the entire girl code between Deedle and Joanna exploded. Joanna had decided to sever the friendship umbilical cord when she had discovered her ex of five years had been casually sleeping with none other than Deedle – her friend.
And while Deedle presented her case in front of a jury of friends: They’ve been broken up for a YEAR. Why is it such a big a deal? The code had been broken and she sent into the proverbial dog house shunned by self-righteous friends who quickly sided with Joanna and banished Lady Deedle from future brunches, drink fests and clothing swaps.
I’m not going to lie, I felt bad for the adorable yet oblivious girl who unfortunately thought with her vagina and created uproar within our social circle. Deedle was frustrated, upset and craving a plethora of dirty sweet, dairy-filled indulgences that let’s face it, would make any one of us sisters bloat.
And that’s where I come in.
1 cup coconut milk (from a can)
1 cup unsweetened So Delicious coconut milk (the drinkable stuff that comes in a tetra pack)
1/3 cup natural cane sugar (light coloured)
1 ½ tbsp agar flakes
1 split vanilla bean (lengthwise)
Heat a saucepan over low-medium heat, add the blackberries, vanilla bean, sugar, and water. Cook, covered, for 10 to 15 minutes, or until the liquid has thickened a bit but hasn’t all evaporated. Let it cool and discard the vanilla bean.
Put coconut milk, almond milk, sugar, and agar flakes in a pan, stir and let sit for about 15 minutes to soften and dissolve. Very slowly bring ingredients to simmer on medium low for about 2-3 minutes. If the mixture isn’t completely dissolved, pour the mixture through a strainer, pushing through the undissolved agar flakes as well. Pour into small mason jars and chill until set for about an hour.
Add blackberry mixture, cover with plastic wrap and let sit for an additional hour, then serve.
Panacotta is something I fell in love with in Italy and when I found that I could create a dairy-free version with coconut milk, I was ecstatic. I blend together thick canned coconut milk with the new drinkable stuff from So Delicious and create a gelatinous cup of love all with the use of agar agar flakes versus gelatin. Gelatin for those of you who don’t know is animal bones (along with animal skin, hooves, tendons, ligaments, and cartilage all boiled together into a goo that’s added to all kinds of candy and baked goods). Agar agar on the other hand is seaweed. It’s odourless and flavourless and is cooling which helps with headaches, fever and even sedate anger to a degree according to Chinese Medical philosophy. So to combine that with a little sweet love and you got one kick ass formula.
Now I’m not making excuses for my friend because I can see Joanna’s point. Deception is the hardest thing for me and I too have written off a friend based on a lie she harboured. However maybe all we ever need is time before we can reconnect with these fallen sisters or maybe we never will. I don’t actually have the answer. Or maybe Buddha was right…
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned”