There I was, sitting listening to Zeppelin as my body swayed from the moving subway. As Robert Plant screamed through my ear buds, I noticed in front of me a couple appearing to have a disagreement.[Melissa takes out her ear buds to eaves drop]
I remember those days, I thought.
Those were the days of relationships that lacked respect, where love was trying and the end was in sight despite dragging the inevitable through the mud. As I stubbornly persisted in the past through hard relationships, everything began to fall apart: my apartment was a mess, my writing became scarce, I cooked and shot less food and I was miserable. Seeing this couple gnaw at each other I couldn’t help but wonder about the art of war and if love and food balance could be achieved in the process.
While Sun Tzu was the mastermind behind the Art of War which was built for the military and later used by massive corporate mavens, I’d rather not get into 13 chapters on how to strategically plan your wage on war but rather talk about balance. Yin yang all the way baby.
I suppose the pressure of finding love in my 30’s has thrown balance off kilter. I’ve stayed in relationships trying to make it work with people who I simply wasn’t compatible with. Fights were volatile, voices raised and suddenly everything becomes annoying: how he chews, sleeps and the noises he makes when he kisses. The incompatibility throws balance out the window and suddenly the worst is brought out in me: I become a yeller, angry, miserable and so tired that I’d rather say fuck it to everything…including food.
Then there’s the flip side: Compatibility and being able to pick and choose your battles and remembering to fight a hard yang energy with a soft, nourishing yin energy. There’s love, understanding and one key thing – respect. Because once it’s gone, so is the relationship. But being able to maintain balance, means maintaining our own sanity and of course, health.
SEXY RICE NUT ROLLS
2 cups walnuts
1 cup sunflower seeds
2 cloves garlic minced
½ tsp cumin
2 tbsp tamari
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
Pinch sea salt & cracked pepper (or as needed)
1 kale leaf with the stem broken up for ease of rolling
1 rice wrap
Grind nuts together into a fine powder and add cumin, tamari and apple cider vinegar. Add water if needed to make sure the mixture isn’t crumbly.
Wet rice wraps and lay flat on a surface and begin assembly: lay kale flat, then nut mixture and top with shredded carrots. Fold over ¼ of the bottom and roll the left over into a roll to secure.
One of the reason why I love rice wraps is because they’re gluten-free. It’s easy on my tummy and the vegan and raw loving goodness of this dish allows me to get in the nutrients I need without feeling weighted and thankfully the Indian summers we get still allow for lighter fare. So choose your favourite dip for this dish – mine happens to be a mixture of ground cashews with water and ½ tsp of madras curry paste and sea salt. Simple, easy and downright delicious.
As for relationships…
Remembering that couple in the subway, I hope that they can either achieve balance or come to the realization that it’s better to cut ties than to be strangled by it. Because finally I’m in a relationship that has mutual respect, love and balance. No more yelling, just understanding and compromise. So maybe if we can take account of our lives in relationships, it’ll give us the perspective we need. For the first time, things aren’t slowly falling apart as my relationship with The Carpenter progress, instead, they’re building (pun intended…hardy har). So maybe we should be less concerned over strategic wins and the art of war, but rather focus in on the art of love and balance that starts with us first.[Musical ear buds go back in and Zeppelin continues]