The pheromone of personal fulfillment.
Dec
02
For many of us breakups are one of the hardest things to overcome which is the reason why I try to keep as busy as humanly possible: Morning meditations, diving into writing projects, transforming my post-breakup, minimalist, “because he had most of the furniture”-style apartment into a warm space to be in and pulling out stoves and fridges to clean and start anew. Yes, I keep myself quite busy thank you. So as I look back at myself during my past relationship and see that I lost that fine balance of self and commitment, I have to wonder, how do I now become the source that emits the pheromone of personal fulfillment?
I have written about the subject before when I spoke about the relationship between sexual and creative energy. They both come from deep within our sacral chakra (3 fingers below your navel) and rarely can you have them proliferate at the same time. It may be the reason why hockey players won’t shag before the big game, why artists abstain from sex while preparing for a large exhibition and why many of us find that during a relationship our creative energies…slip. This may explain why when we’re single and temporarily celibate that we begin to flirt with our creativity again giving it a little pat on the bum. Creativity, this sexy substance that lies within all of us to a degree is a catalyst towards personal fulfillment and one major way to avoid having a fly-by-night fling-fest with it and keeping it in the sac is simple…food.
COCAO-PUFFS PORRIDGE
½ cup wild rice (soaked overnight)
1 cup water
½ can coconut milk
1 tbsp raw cacao powder
1-2 tbsp maple syrup
1 tbsp chia seeds or ground flax
Topping: berries, walnuts, coconut flakes
Pinch of sea salt
Drain and cook wild rice in water on high. Cover and simmer on low for 10-15 minutes. Remove from heat and pour in coconut milk, cacao powder, maple syrup and chia/flax. Mix well and pour into a bowl and add toppings.
I know this recipe may stretch some boundaries – rice and chocolate for breakfast? Damn straight. Wild rice specifically strengthens the kidneys which according to Chinese Medicine is receptive during the winter. It’s a time for grounding, hibernation and internalizing who we are and what we want to become – and food can certainly be used as the facilitator.
Whether we are alone by chance, choice or circumstance, there is bright side as we are given the opportunity to create wild passionate art (in whatever form that may be) versus wild passionate love with someone else. And while this seems like a bad trade off, understand this: an individual who manifests their creativity and develops their pheromone of personal fulfillment is a confident person who’s got their shit so together that they exude an energy that everyone wants to be around.
Now what could possibly be any sexier?
Bow-chicka-wow-wow…
I love your writing! Great post, as usual, and can really relate to breakups being hard on the heart, not to mention the diet. I’m certainly going to miss the Gentleman, as you two appeared like the perfect match. Loved following the tale. And that Spain trip! wow wow romantic. He seemed perfect! Too bad, so sorry. Hope your heart is holding up. Mine still hurts. Stef
I definitely agree with this blog! Also perhaps a good goal to strive towards is filling our lives with a partner or partner(s) who understand it won’t always be about sexual energy and can allow us the freedom to go off and exercise our creativity. They haven’t always been so understanding but luckily the person I am with can let me go off on a creativity burst and just do my thing!
After all, as you touch on, allowing anything to become unbalanced is just unhealthy for our spirits in the long run. Being single or seeing people we need to fulfill our needs to be creative, among many others
Melissa, thank you for this healthy, delectable-sounding porridge. Thank you also for being so honest and sharing your challenges with us, as well as your constructive ways of dealing with difficult emotions.
Many people look for reasons to be self-destructive and I love how you’ve chosen to channel your energy into creating more beauty in the world (whether it’s your clean fridge or this blog!).
I’m excited for you – this breakup clears the path for Mr. Right to come along! As you boost your personal fulfillment pheromone, he’ll be attracted to you like a bee to a flower.
Thank you for this amazing recipe and post. I can’t wait to try it! As the other person said, thanks for your honesty and sharing with your reader’s ways of better dealing with emotions.
I know this breakup is still very fresh and you’re feeling tender still, but I am sure you are on the way to recovery. The questions go through our heads in times like this, was it him, was it us, was it timing, etc? Who knows, but time will be the healer and give answers to these questions. After all, it’s as much about us, and them. As they say, it takes two.
Question: Maybe Mr. Right will come along, but how do we know in our own lives if he already has, but we were too focused on the negatives of Mr. Right to see our own mistakes and the part we play? I know I am personally guilty of this. After all, what makes us Miss Right?
@Steph Awesome statements. You are right on the money.
@Melissa This is my third page on your site, and I gotta say this is giving me an overwhelming sense of gratitude.. thank you so much for these purposeful and poignant words!! You are stirring the desire to create less chaos and add more comfort foods to my life; I will be giving these recipes a try!
Blessings!!
Hey there, I’m so glad we found each other then! Stay tuned for more stories and recipes – plus the book. It’s only right around the corner! Much love to ya sista!
thank you!! i just gave up gluten and really miss my oatmeal!!!!