Your F-Game

I believe at some point there must have been some sort of communication error with the ticket girl at the train station because once I jumped on, I was pulled into psychedelic-type world that made me feel like I was no longer on my A-game. People, I was flunking hard with the good ol’ F-er Game.

The F-Game is known to many of us when we feel completely off.  Nothing goes right, and one very special magical F-word gets uttered quite a few times and pairs well with the words, you, off and Holy. So when we begin to flunk our daily routine, how can we possibly get back on the right train and back onto the A-Game?

On my recent ride into the F-Game sphere, I met up with a Tarot woman at job #432.  Allow me to express to you that these are simply a mere example of some of the many characters that I encounter at job #432.  Standing in front of me with weave that had no business being on her head, she gripped tightly a deck of worn out Tarot cards.

You know sometimes I do readings all day and when I get home…[enter a series of jumbled words]…I wonder, is that YOUR mouth on my nipple?

[Melissa screams to the conductor to give it a little pedal to the medal and we zoom by Tarot woman at job #432]

I do believe that Tarot woman set off a catalyst of events thereafter.  And even though I had a feeling that things would go ary, I didn’t anticipate that Phoebe (a.k.a. my iPhone) would drown.  After a long evening with The Gentleman, I went to bed and left Phoebe out to drown in what turned into a torrential thunderstorm.  Now if you remember Baby (my previous iPhone), you’ll begin to question what is with me and my phones.  Somehow I have managed to turn my iPhones to have a South Park-esque Kenny experience.  Shit.

Following this, I was pulled over the cops just to pull out my eyelash batting ammunition which thankfully saved the day and my wallet.

Thanks L’oreal.

Next, I was ready to take on round two of The Gentleman as he tackles the Nic-Monster.  Stocking up his little knapsack filled with nervine calming supplements and feeding him one kick ass smoothie, I completely forgot to give him my favourite munchies…kale chips.

BET YOU CAN’T EACH JUST ONE
1 bunch kale
Juice from half lemon
Olive oil
Sea salt
Pinch of cayenne

Wash and towel dry kale. Drizzle with olive oil, lemon and sprinkle sea salt and a pinch of cayenne. Combine well and put in the oven at the lowest temperature and let sit for the entire day with the oven slightly open.  If you have a food dehydrator, then set to 115 for 2-3 hours.

I’m surprised I haven’t posted a kale chip recipe here sooner. But better late than never!  Kale’s outlandish curly looks or long leaves gives way for a calmer more on your game type you.  Forget the micronutrient breakdown, it’ll just confuse you.  So for the ease of simplicity, here is what you need to know.  In colour theory, green is the opposite colour of red.  Red is a hot colour and suggests fire.  So wouldn’t it make sense that green would cool and calm the fire?   And during a scorcher of a time when we might feel irritable, kale reduces stress levels and is a better and a more butt friendlier alternative than baked or fried potato chips.  It’s that simple.

It’s inevitable, sometimes in life we get thrown off our A-Game and sent right onto the F-Train into the F-Game where we use the F-word.  But instead of accepting defeat, maybe we can turn to our food as love before going into our emotional cannibalistic ways.  That in the end, maybe what nourishes us the most just might be the glue to keep our A-Game (and for some people their weave) together…